You could talk of “searching for the truth” or say something like “seeking the true spirituality or religion”. Whatever expression you want to use, I spent more than 40 years looking for it.
I converted to Christianity when I was eight. I quickly saw through what people said and what they did. I also saw the inconsistencies, including talking about “love” while making others suffer.
At 25, I became an atheist and began looking for truth elsewhere. I studied everything I could find - Philosophy, Buddhism, etc. I saw glimpses into the truth, but still something was lacking.
At 36, I began meditation and felt the truth was close.
At 45, I was cycling through gorgeous Banks Peninsula in Aotearoa New Zealand. As I came down a steep hill, a truck passed me with sheep on the way to the slaughterhouse. As the truck passed me, I saw sheep looking out the back of the truck at me. I was reminded of the 20th Century films about people on their way to the concentration camps. I realised this was still happening. This image tormented me.
At 47, I became vegetarian, because I knew I could no longer be responsible for the deaths of others.
At 51, I became vegan, because I realised that the dairy industry IS the meat industry and I was still causing untold suffering.
At 56, I had a vision of peace and a few months later, I visited a Quaker meeting, where they talked of “peace”. There was suffering shared as “food” after the meeting.
At 58, Saha Dukkha began.
If you are willingly making others suffer, you haven’t found the path. It is right in front of you and begins with one step - do no harm.
May all beings know peace!
Tūruapō
16 May 2026